Dear Addie,
From what I know, it seems that you are bored with life. Maybe not to the point of death literally but you find something lacking. Or like me, you are looking for something but you don't know what that is. I know exactly how it feels. Living in a first world country, as written by Thoreau, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." Yet, I am convinced that searching for a solution within you will prove to be in vain and for that I write this letter.
I believe that you are looking for a solution outside of the church because you feel that within the church there are restrains to inhibit your happiness. Thus you have come to the conclusion that in removing these restrains - be it in time, freedom of expression, sexual, social choices, etc - there will be a remedy to the desperation that has crept in. If you didn't think along these lines, I did and still do. As you have known, for a time I too removed some of these restrains in an attempt to find some meaning in life. Some purpose to existing other than just to survive for the next day of work. I wanted to live life and enjoy - go around the world, meet people and feel alive. And yet today, I have not found the answers that I have desperately sought for and am still seeking.
There was a person who has done much more than we in removing the restraints - seeking pleasure, success and laughter and at the end of the day still came to the same conclusion. (Solomon in Ecclesiastes.) That conclusion was that only in a relationship with God can an answer be found and to look for an answer to boredom in success, pleasure or laughter is a chasing after the wind.
I have no quick answers for you and I feel that you have quite resolutely made up your mind on certain matters. As the father knew it in vain to stop the son from leaving (Luke 15), you too must seek out to learn your own lessons. Yet I hope in all these that you will not forget about your God who loves us more than we can imagine. And, that we can come to the same conclusion as the author in Ecclesiastes did.
With Love,
Ong
2 comments:
Ecclesiates 11.4 If you worry about the
weather and don't plant seeds, you won't harvest a crop. 5 No
one can explain how a baby breathes before it is born. So how
can anyone explain what God does? After all, he created
everything. 6 Plant your seeds early in the morning and keep
working in the field until dark. Who knows? Your work might pay
off, and your seeds might produce.
7 Nothing on earth is more beautiful than the morning sun. 8
Even if you live to a ripe old age, you should try to enjoy each
day, because darkness will come and will last a long time.
Nothing makes sense.
Live well and give your best, everyone's been given something. Or how else would you ever be able to make God or yourself happy?
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I will try to live as true to myself as I can and hope that in some tiny way can make a difference in the world. Also, I hope that Addie who the letter is for will too.
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