Angst in Singapore, Part I

For the past few years there has always been a struggle over staying in Singapore. I could not really pinpoint the problem but as I am sitting at one of the library buildings at the Angkor Wat pondering, things have become slightly clearer.

Now don't get me wrong, Singapore is actually a very nice place to stay in when compared to the other countries in South East Asia. It is probably the safest place in the region. I could leave my bag in an open food court and leave and order food without having to worry about it getting stolen. I take jogs in the park at 12am or 1am without fear of getting mug or killed. The place is super clean and have air conditioned places everywhere. Also the money is good. Compared to an average graduate pay in Indonesia which is just 45 minutes away, an average worker in Singapore gets about 7 to 8 times more in salary. Compared to Malaysia, 20 minutes away in the north, the pay is doubled. So what is there to complain?

For me, I just don't like the culture of performance, efficiency and materialism. It basically is not my personality. Everything around seems to be about who can perform the best or who makes the most money. Also, degrees and learning have been put to such a high importance that there is so much pressure on the kids and also adults to achieve. Casual conversation will drift to the latest gadgets or status symbol. There are exceptions but as a majority it is a culture that pushes performance above all else. But being an Asian and Chinese, escaping this type of culture is difficult because it is how we were brought up. Maybe I just need to find a balance within myself or just be confident about who I am.